Dear interesting man with whom I initiated a conversation:
I initiated a conversation with you because you look at least nominally intelligent, which is something I like in friends, and also in people who are more than friends.
Had we hit it off fairly well, I'd certainly consider dating you.
However, I'm not going to ask you out on a date until I'm fairly certain I do like you in that sort of way. Unfortunately, it seems that you've already put me in the category of "people to whom I should rant that I am not getting any contact from people who are interesting to me."
Now, this wouldn't be so bad-- maybe I'm not your type, maybe my relationship model isn't your type, whatever. But when you mention that you've "lowered your standards as far as you possibly can" that's when I get a little bit insulted and a lot amused. Either you're totally missing when people hit on you, or you're grumpily trying to see if *I* am hitting on you. And, guess what, I don't respond well to insinuations that you've lowered your standards and, maybe, if I try harder, I might just make it.
In other words, Interesting Yet Clueless Man, had you been a little less whiny, I'd probably have hit on you about an hour from now. Oh well, maybe you'll figure this out in a week or two...