corrvin: "this space intentionally not left blank" (Default)
Sharing the list in case someone else needs inspiration. Nothing here is NSFW; if you want NSFW date activities, you're on your own.

#5 is pretty specific to a certain person's kitchen, but the rest? they're generic.

25 things I've never done on a date, but would like to )
corrvin: "this space intentionally not left blank" (Default)
Dear interesting man with whom I initiated a conversation:

I initiated a conversation with you because you look at least nominally intelligent, which is something I like in friends, and also in people who are more than friends.

Had we hit it off fairly well, I'd certainly consider dating you.

However, I'm not going to ask you out on a date until I'm fairly certain I do like you in that sort of way. Unfortunately, it seems that you've already put me in the category of "people to whom I should rant that I am not getting any contact from people who are interesting to me."

Now, this wouldn't be so bad-- maybe I'm not your type, maybe my relationship model isn't your type, whatever. But when you mention that you've "lowered your standards as far as you possibly can" that's when I get a little bit insulted and a lot amused. Either you're totally missing when people hit on you, or you're grumpily trying to see if *I* am hitting on you. And, guess what, I don't respond well to insinuations that you've lowered your standards and, maybe, if I try harder, I might just make it.

In other words, Interesting Yet Clueless Man, had you been a little less whiny, I'd probably have hit on you about an hour from now. Oh well, maybe you'll figure this out in a week or two...

Grrr.

Jan. 4th, 2006 05:08 am
corrvin: "this space intentionally not left blank" (Default)
Dear Sir:

You appear to have the mistaken impression that the words "likable" and "lickable" have the same meaning.

At least, I certainly hope that you meant you LIKE your dog. Anything else is simply more repugnant than I can imagine.

Of course, since you appear to keep your tongue pristine by instead applying some strange organ called a tounge in pursuit of your unnamed talents, I suppose it's all right in the end.

No, not that sort of end. PLEASE!

Honestly! If you're trying to give the impression that you're fun to date, do try not to type as if your fingers go into relentless spasms whenever confronted with a word over four letters! If you're old enough to date, you're old enough to buy a damn dictionary and look something up once in a while, and then spell it correctly.

Bad spelling is as atrocious a fault as showing up in filthy clothing, ungroomed, and reeking of wet dog-- unless you're meeting someone at the pound, in which case you can wear whatever you lick.
Sincerely,
Not Impressed With Bad Spellers
corrvin: text "more than one doesn't always mean one more" (poly)
in principle...to men old enough to be my father.

But PLEASE, if you're going to hit on me, demonstrate that you've learned something in the 20 years you were alive before I was born, m'kay?

For instance, a quick check of my profile (polyamorous, more than one boyfriend, dating by mutual consent) might indicate that I'm not very likely to accept your oh-so-flattering offer to be a "short term replacement" while your girlfriend is out of town.

But really! Who WOULD take that offer? Anyone I'd speak to?

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Corrvin

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