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1) Today's new phrase:
My mom, as I've mentioned before, is a teacher. One of her colleagues was having a tizzy, and called his wife and spilled the whole tale of woe to her, upon which she replied:
"You know what you need to do?"
"What?"
"Sit down, shut up, and color."
2) I've often said that my final recourse, when I have been utterly pissed off by a caller, is that I'm going to bark like a dog at them.
And when I'm confronted about it, my excuse is going to be "No one ever said I couldn't." And the other half of my excuse was going to be that I'd never done it before.
So, today, I had my usual morning chat with one of the local funeral home owners, and he told me a tale about a guy who never married, but rode all around the country on his motorcycle, with his little dog. And when he passed away, he laid in state in the chapel of the funeral home.
With the motorcycle on display.
And the dog receiving visitors.
The dog, by the way, inherited all his money, making the nephew who got custody of the dog very happy indeed.
"Well," says the funeral home owner, "he was a nice guy, weird as all get out, but real nice*. And I don't think what he did was wrong, you're entitled to do whatever you want with your money, and you should leave it to those that care about you. Heaven knows I'd do the same."
"I just have one thing to say to you, then."
"What's that?"
"WOOF!"
And on that note...I'm off.
*Of all the things I wouldn't mind being said about me when I was gone, this is definitely on the list.
My mom, as I've mentioned before, is a teacher. One of her colleagues was having a tizzy, and called his wife and spilled the whole tale of woe to her, upon which she replied:
"You know what you need to do?"
"What?"
"Sit down, shut up, and color."
2) I've often said that my final recourse, when I have been utterly pissed off by a caller, is that I'm going to bark like a dog at them.
And when I'm confronted about it, my excuse is going to be "No one ever said I couldn't." And the other half of my excuse was going to be that I'd never done it before.
So, today, I had my usual morning chat with one of the local funeral home owners, and he told me a tale about a guy who never married, but rode all around the country on his motorcycle, with his little dog. And when he passed away, he laid in state in the chapel of the funeral home.
With the motorcycle on display.
And the dog receiving visitors.
The dog, by the way, inherited all his money, making the nephew who got custody of the dog very happy indeed.
"Well," says the funeral home owner, "he was a nice guy, weird as all get out, but real nice*. And I don't think what he did was wrong, you're entitled to do whatever you want with your money, and you should leave it to those that care about you. Heaven knows I'd do the same."
"I just have one thing to say to you, then."
"What's that?"
"WOOF!"
And on that note...I'm off.
*Of all the things I wouldn't mind being said about me when I was gone, this is definitely on the list.
