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Making Allowances.
Mar. 20th, 2009 11:29 amSo, our darling ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ravenlet is sneaking up on 11 years old.
She's never, so far, had an allowance; we have had a short time of paying her bits of money to do things around the house, which resulted in her making $2-3 a week.
When I was a kid, it was thought reasonable to give your child some amount of money per week, scaled by age. There are two huge problems with this, which I hope I can explain reasonably well:
First, the younger the child, the harder they play with their toys, and thus the better made their toys need to be. So a good toy for a 5 year old might well be MORE expensive than one for a 10 year old.
Second, toys have a lifespan on the shelf-- is it fair or reasonable or just to give your child an allowance such that they have to spend three or four months saving for what they want, only to discover that it's gone by the time they can afford it?
And about that saving thing-- sure, it's good to teach kids to save, but if there is ANYONE out there who has never stopped to buy a soda on the way home, you go right ahead and teach your children to save every dime they ever get. The rest of us will be pondering how long it's reasonable to expect a child to work toward a goal. Keep in mind that your child has their birthday and Christmas, for a guaranteed two gift-giving occasions a year (non-Christians and Jehovah's Witnesses excepted) and thus if you don't make it reasonably easy for them to save and get something, they'll fall back on "whine and get something."
If you pay your child weekly, at a very low rate, then don't they want to go out and spend it? How do you keep your child from spending their money on things you don't approve of? I don't want my child buying $2 worth of candy, that's way too much. I don't want her buying cheap plastic crap either, because it's a health hazard and it just makes her room messy. But where's the line between "it's your money and you need to be responsible so you get to learn to make choices" and "you can't buy that"? Would I let her buy books that I thought were stupid? How about ones that I have reason to believe are extremely biased against people of various groups? How about immodest clothing? How about makeup?
I think most people don't really understand the purchasing power of money-- just because you're short and can't drive doesn't mean that you don't pay the exact same price for an ice cream cone as everyone else. Instead of deciding what magical amount your kid needs based on their age, why not figure out how long you think your child should have to save to buy something they really want, and divide it out? By that rationale, I should be giving the kid $7 or so a week, and expect her to wait a month between big purchases. Any longer than a month, and it's just encouraging her to ask for things for her birthday or Christmas instead.
But how does it really TEACH my kid anything about money when she gets money regardless of what she does, when my "play money" comes out of what I have left over after grocery shopping? What I'd really prefer is to put her in charge of buying something for her own needs, and explain that "here's the money, you are in charge of buying this thing you need and the rest is yours to spend as you want."
What do y'all think? What would you give your hypothetical child for an allowance?
ETA: Some awesome reading here.
ravenlet is sneaking up on 11 years old.She's never, so far, had an allowance; we have had a short time of paying her bits of money to do things around the house, which resulted in her making $2-3 a week.
When I was a kid, it was thought reasonable to give your child some amount of money per week, scaled by age. There are two huge problems with this, which I hope I can explain reasonably well:
First, the younger the child, the harder they play with their toys, and thus the better made their toys need to be. So a good toy for a 5 year old might well be MORE expensive than one for a 10 year old.
Second, toys have a lifespan on the shelf-- is it fair or reasonable or just to give your child an allowance such that they have to spend three or four months saving for what they want, only to discover that it's gone by the time they can afford it?
And about that saving thing-- sure, it's good to teach kids to save, but if there is ANYONE out there who has never stopped to buy a soda on the way home, you go right ahead and teach your children to save every dime they ever get. The rest of us will be pondering how long it's reasonable to expect a child to work toward a goal. Keep in mind that your child has their birthday and Christmas, for a guaranteed two gift-giving occasions a year (non-Christians and Jehovah's Witnesses excepted) and thus if you don't make it reasonably easy for them to save and get something, they'll fall back on "whine and get something."
If you pay your child weekly, at a very low rate, then don't they want to go out and spend it? How do you keep your child from spending their money on things you don't approve of? I don't want my child buying $2 worth of candy, that's way too much. I don't want her buying cheap plastic crap either, because it's a health hazard and it just makes her room messy. But where's the line between "it's your money and you need to be responsible so you get to learn to make choices" and "you can't buy that"? Would I let her buy books that I thought were stupid? How about ones that I have reason to believe are extremely biased against people of various groups? How about immodest clothing? How about makeup?
I think most people don't really understand the purchasing power of money-- just because you're short and can't drive doesn't mean that you don't pay the exact same price for an ice cream cone as everyone else. Instead of deciding what magical amount your kid needs based on their age, why not figure out how long you think your child should have to save to buy something they really want, and divide it out? By that rationale, I should be giving the kid $7 or so a week, and expect her to wait a month between big purchases. Any longer than a month, and it's just encouraging her to ask for things for her birthday or Christmas instead.
But how does it really TEACH my kid anything about money when she gets money regardless of what she does, when my "play money" comes out of what I have left over after grocery shopping? What I'd really prefer is to put her in charge of buying something for her own needs, and explain that "here's the money, you are in charge of buying this thing you need and the rest is yours to spend as you want."
What do y'all think? What would you give your hypothetical child for an allowance?
ETA: Some awesome reading here.
