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In celebration, or observance, or something, of NaNoWriMo, and the sound of hundreds of amateur fingers tapping out the next Shakespeare, a long and rambly list of:
A rather Harry-Potter-centric list of things that make me roll my eyes:
1. If you're going to write fanfiction, be a fan. I don't mean you have to know every little thing like the composition of Harry's mother's wand (although you can look up such things here, in the HP Lexicon), but it would definitely help if you're writing fanfic set in the time of his parents to figure out that "Lily Potter" was her name AFTER she married James Potter, and before that, she was Lily Evans. Of course, that's also common sense. Speaking of which...
2. Have some common sense. I read a fic in which Harry was feeling rather dirty and grimy, so he took a towel and went to go have a bath. After getting in the bathtub, he swam around a bit, and then when someone came in he dogpaddled to the edge. Bathtubs are not big enough to swim around in. I know it's confusing that the Brits use "bathe" to mean "swim" sometimes, as in what we do at the ocean, but that doesn't make their bathtubs any bigger.
3. Don't do bizarre personality changes. Harry Potter is a teenaged boy. I promise you that he does not want a periwinkle-blue shirt with a magical picture of a unicorn on the back. Wizards may wear robes, but that doesn't mean that teenaged boy wizards want to wear girly clothes any more than any other teenaged boys do. (See Ron and the lace-trimmed dress robes for an example.) Same for anything else the characters do or say that's so wildly out of the norm for their gender and age. I understand that the author may be a 14 year old girl, but it would be nice if their characters weren't all also 14 year old girls.
4. Don't get caught Yanking. Yes, it's my crass phrase for using terms from American English instead of the correct words that would be used by an English or Irish student in a Scottish school. What Mrs. Weasley knits for Ron and Harry are jumpers, not sweaters. What they wear under their robes may include trousers, but under the trousers are pants (what an American calls underpants). Hermione and other girls wear knickers, not panties. Don't translate events and ideas across the pond, either-- Hogwarts has no prom, no graduation ceremony. Also, just because a girl in California can traipse around in a bikini top and short-shorts in May or June doesn't mean that the clothing would be appropriate for the weather (or the observers' sensibilities!) near Hogwarts. One of the most interesting asides I've seen in a fanfic was about Ginny Weasley as an adult, working in a joint Muggle/magical department and being profoundly unhappy with wearing Muggle work clothes-- "too revealing" to be professional, in her eyes.
5. And now for the obligatory statements about getting personal-- among all the various nicknames Rowling includes in her books for characters, very few of them are direct shortenings of people's names. The only one we really see in action is Ron (Ronald) Weasley. Harry's real name appears to be Harry, not Henry or Harold. James Potter was James, not Jim; Arthur Weasley isn't Art even to his own wife. So, on behalf of Sev, Siri, Remy, Hermy (or 'Mione), and the rest-- knock it off. If you want a pet name, make one up, because shortening names is just not wizard common custom.
That's all I can think of-- for now. I'm sure there'll be more.
A rather Harry-Potter-centric list of things that make me roll my eyes:
1. If you're going to write fanfiction, be a fan. I don't mean you have to know every little thing like the composition of Harry's mother's wand (although you can look up such things here, in the HP Lexicon), but it would definitely help if you're writing fanfic set in the time of his parents to figure out that "Lily Potter" was her name AFTER she married James Potter, and before that, she was Lily Evans. Of course, that's also common sense. Speaking of which...
2. Have some common sense. I read a fic in which Harry was feeling rather dirty and grimy, so he took a towel and went to go have a bath. After getting in the bathtub, he swam around a bit, and then when someone came in he dogpaddled to the edge. Bathtubs are not big enough to swim around in. I know it's confusing that the Brits use "bathe" to mean "swim" sometimes, as in what we do at the ocean, but that doesn't make their bathtubs any bigger.
3. Don't do bizarre personality changes. Harry Potter is a teenaged boy. I promise you that he does not want a periwinkle-blue shirt with a magical picture of a unicorn on the back. Wizards may wear robes, but that doesn't mean that teenaged boy wizards want to wear girly clothes any more than any other teenaged boys do. (See Ron and the lace-trimmed dress robes for an example.) Same for anything else the characters do or say that's so wildly out of the norm for their gender and age. I understand that the author may be a 14 year old girl, but it would be nice if their characters weren't all also 14 year old girls.
4. Don't get caught Yanking. Yes, it's my crass phrase for using terms from American English instead of the correct words that would be used by an English or Irish student in a Scottish school. What Mrs. Weasley knits for Ron and Harry are jumpers, not sweaters. What they wear under their robes may include trousers, but under the trousers are pants (what an American calls underpants). Hermione and other girls wear knickers, not panties. Don't translate events and ideas across the pond, either-- Hogwarts has no prom, no graduation ceremony. Also, just because a girl in California can traipse around in a bikini top and short-shorts in May or June doesn't mean that the clothing would be appropriate for the weather (or the observers' sensibilities!) near Hogwarts. One of the most interesting asides I've seen in a fanfic was about Ginny Weasley as an adult, working in a joint Muggle/magical department and being profoundly unhappy with wearing Muggle work clothes-- "too revealing" to be professional, in her eyes.
5. And now for the obligatory statements about getting personal-- among all the various nicknames Rowling includes in her books for characters, very few of them are direct shortenings of people's names. The only one we really see in action is Ron (Ronald) Weasley. Harry's real name appears to be Harry, not Henry or Harold. James Potter was James, not Jim; Arthur Weasley isn't Art even to his own wife. So, on behalf of Sev, Siri, Remy, Hermy (or 'Mione), and the rest-- knock it off. If you want a pet name, make one up, because shortening names is just not wizard common custom.
That's all I can think of-- for now. I'm sure there'll be more.
