![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I've prepared a translation guide of some phrases that commonly appear in OKCupid profiles.
My height: 5'11" The first thing people notice about me: My height
Translation: I'm really insecure and like being told I'm not short. At all.
The first thing people notice about me: lol, my boobs
Translation: You can't compliment my intelligence, so please stare at my chest to make me feel wanted.
I want someone who likes to be treated like a lady
Translation: I have to be on top. Always. Or my "little guy" doesn't...you know.
About me: All my previous girlfriends have been lunatics. I just want someone who won't play mind games with me.
Translation: The minute we break up, I have no scruples about sharing everything I know about you publicly.
The most private thing I'm willing to admit here: I'm a virgin.
Translation: I'm obsessed with getting tab A into slot B. Don't expect foreplay. EVER.
My number one priority is my kids.
Translation: Expect our dates to be cancelled on little to no notice on the whims of my spoiled children. And that's why I'm dating now, and not married anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about: sex
Translation: I masturbate constantly.
The six things I could never live without: sex...
Translation: In fact, I can masturbate in under 30 seconds.
I am ____, _____, and lonely
Translation: I'm out of 30-second fantasies.
I am: intellegent, philisophical, creatave, meticulus, a genious.
Translation: I'm actually not.
I am open-minded.
Translation: I'm very accepting of people who differ from the norm just like I do.
I'm looking for someone open-minded.
Translation: You need to be accepting of my standards of personal hygiene.
I am nerdy.
Translation: I've seen more comic-book boobs than real live ones.
I am geeky.
Translation: I liked the comics better.
Any others?
My height: 5'11" The first thing people notice about me: My height
Translation: I'm really insecure and like being told I'm not short. At all.
The first thing people notice about me: lol, my boobs
Translation: You can't compliment my intelligence, so please stare at my chest to make me feel wanted.
I want someone who likes to be treated like a lady
Translation: I have to be on top. Always. Or my "little guy" doesn't...you know.
About me: All my previous girlfriends have been lunatics. I just want someone who won't play mind games with me.
Translation: The minute we break up, I have no scruples about sharing everything I know about you publicly.
The most private thing I'm willing to admit here: I'm a virgin.
Translation: I'm obsessed with getting tab A into slot B. Don't expect foreplay. EVER.
My number one priority is my kids.
Translation: Expect our dates to be cancelled on little to no notice on the whims of my spoiled children. And that's why I'm dating now, and not married anymore.
I spend a lot of time thinking about: sex
Translation: I masturbate constantly.
The six things I could never live without: sex...
Translation: In fact, I can masturbate in under 30 seconds.
I am ____, _____, and lonely
Translation: I'm out of 30-second fantasies.
I am: intellegent, philisophical, creatave, meticulus, a genious.
Translation: I'm actually not.
I am open-minded.
Translation: I'm very accepting of people who differ from the norm just like I do.
I'm looking for someone open-minded.
Translation: You need to be accepting of my standards of personal hygiene.
I am nerdy.
Translation: I've seen more comic-book boobs than real live ones.
I am geeky.
Translation: I liked the comics better.
Any others?
