corrvin: "this space intentionally not left blank" (Default)
I'm in a group about simplifying one's life and that includes getting rid of unneeded possessions. One thread, though, really annoyed me, as it was about people who had just-grown children and were asking the children to get ALL their possessions out of the parents' houses.

Here is my response to the whole thread:

I love my parents very much, and even though I’m an adult, I still learn a lot from them. I watched them move my widower grandfather into a little house next to theirs that they built so that they could care for him. They made room in that little house for his things that he wanted to keep, and room in their big house to store some more, and helped him decide what not to keep (and sold it or disposed of it for him). They never told him that they couldn’t keep his stuff or that he had to pay to store it somewhere.

I really don’t mean to be argumentative, and I’m sure that circumstances are different for everyone, and I know that a widower grandfather isn’t the same as an employed young adult who may be married or about to be. In my opinion, though, there might be circumstances when the thing to do that is loving and respectful to your child (and their feelings about their possessions) is to offer to keep a few of their most treasured things for a few years, especially if your house is bigger and safer than where they are living.

And think about it, if you teach your kids that they are allowed to “set the value” on their own things and ask for your help, then in 30-40 years when (if) they are moving you into assisted living or into somewhere close by them, they may volunteer to keep some of your stuff at their house and help rotate it through your smaller living space, instead of telling you that it’s “not their job” to hold onto your possessions for you :)

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Corrvin

March 2024

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