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A facetious "about me" sheet typed by my uncle and reproduced here verbatim.
HISTORICAL NOTE: The below was typed on an actual typewriter, with one typographical error (the F in "FAVORITES" was struck as an R, then overstruck several times with an F) and a couple of misspellings that are left in.
The date of this piece is unknown, but I'm assuming sometime in the late 80's?
While the space at the above right, above the words "this picture" is blank, there is no sign that anything was ever attached there.
NAME: Johnny B Corvin
(J.B. & Jewel's baby boy)
BIRTH PLACE: Ada, Oklahoma
Cultural center of the universe
AGE: 1.45 score
HEIGHT: .00109 miles
WEIGHT: .09 long tons
and of course 8 1/2 inch
shoe size
FAVORITES:
Color: A tie: red, white; blue
Drink: Chateau d Yquem
Drug: Chateau d Yquem
Mouth Wash: Chateau d Yquem
Authors: Hugh Hefner,
Bob Guccione
Position: In the lead
PREFERENCES:
Church: Red Brick
Sexual: Yes, I had rather have it
PUBLICATIONS:
War and Peace
Roots
(I'm sure I could name others)
LAST BOOK READ: March 1985
SPORTS: If it involves a ball,
I do it.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS: I hold the state
record for Ax Murders.
MILITARY RECORD:
No, I like rock and roll.
HISTORICAL NOTE: The below was typed on an actual typewriter, with one typographical error (the F in "FAVORITES" was struck as an R, then overstruck several times with an F) and a couple of misspellings that are left in.
The date of this piece is unknown, but I'm assuming sometime in the late 80's?
While the space at the above right, above the words "this picture" is blank, there is no sign that anything was ever attached there.
NAME: Johnny B Corvin
(J.B. & Jewel's baby boy)
BIRTH PLACE: Ada, Oklahoma
Cultural center of the universe
AGE: 1.45 score
HEIGHT: .00109 miles
WEIGHT: .09 long tons
and of course 8 1/2 inch
shoe size
FAVORITES:
Color: A tie: red, white; blue
Drink: Chateau d Yquem
Drug: Chateau d Yquem
Mouth Wash: Chateau d Yquem
Authors: Hugh Hefner,
Bob Guccione
Position: In the lead
PREFERENCES:
Church: Red Brick
Sexual: Yes, I had rather have it
PUBLICATIONS:
War and Peace
Roots
(I'm sure I could name others)
LAST BOOK READ: March 1985
SPORTS: If it involves a ball,
I do it.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS: I hold the state
record for Ax Murders.
MILITARY RECORD:
No, I like rock and roll.
*This picture was taken before
the accident last year.
EDUCATION: Yeah I did. It worn't no bed of rosed neighter.
B.S. in mathematics in only 6 years
M.S. in mathematics in only 9 years
for a total of 17 years of the stuff
HOBBIES: It has to do with a horse, chandelier, waterbed, and various
leather goods, but I digress......
BEST OPENING LINE: Hey little girl want some candy?
Letters of reference availible upon request from:
Ron Regan
The Pope
Xaviera Hollander *
Albert Einstein
Mother Treasa et al
* You must be over 21 and live in a state that will permit the mailing
of such materal.
