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In one of the fora I read on Ravelry, someone posted seeking ways to support her depressed husband while still taking care of herself.
A comment on this thread was from someone highly advocating "get him outside and moving for a while every day." And here's my response:
I understand what you’re saying, but let me share this in return. When I’m really seriously depressed, it hits my energy levels like having the flu, or mono. Now, exercising when I am not majorly down is good stuff, it makes me feel good, makes me strong and healthy. And it helps me recover more quickly from bouts of depression because I have more physical reserves.
But when I’m depressed, getting out of bed and into the shower is an ordeal, usually followed by a nap. Going downstairs and microwaving food is a struggle; I keep breakfast bars next to the bed and a giant bottle of water for the times when I can’t cope with that. If I don’t have the energy to take a shower and feed myself AND get dressed, walking even around the yard is just not going to be on the to-do list. When I feel better, I do start exercising again, but that’s an effect, not a cause.
Many of the things people think a depressed person should do are really good advice in general (eat balanced meals, get your vitamins, exercise, etc) but you know that even non-depressed people don’t do those things all the time. And when someone advises a depressed person to do those things, it sometimes comes across not as good advice for everyone, but as ”It’s your fault you’re depressed right now because you don’t exercise, eat right every meal, take vitamins, wash your hair in SLS-free shampoo1, wear only natural fibers, watch your blood pressure, get a mammogram at 40, and drink this special tea that my friend’s hairdresser swears by.” Nobody could do everything their friends think is healthy, even if they felt great and had nothing to do but take care of themselves every day.
So, yes, good advice for everyone, but specifically for depressed people, not so much.
----
And we won't go into the responses to the post, except that I think I proved my point by who disagreed with me and why and how they did so. Heh. Also, if you're my friend and worry that you may have overstepped the line, I would have told you about it, you haven't. Friends can share where strangers should really shush up.
1SLS= Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, alleged to cause cancer or other health issues, and debunked here on Snopes.
A comment on this thread was from someone highly advocating "get him outside and moving for a while every day." And here's my response:
I understand what you’re saying, but let me share this in return. When I’m really seriously depressed, it hits my energy levels like having the flu, or mono. Now, exercising when I am not majorly down is good stuff, it makes me feel good, makes me strong and healthy. And it helps me recover more quickly from bouts of depression because I have more physical reserves.
But when I’m depressed, getting out of bed and into the shower is an ordeal, usually followed by a nap. Going downstairs and microwaving food is a struggle; I keep breakfast bars next to the bed and a giant bottle of water for the times when I can’t cope with that. If I don’t have the energy to take a shower and feed myself AND get dressed, walking even around the yard is just not going to be on the to-do list. When I feel better, I do start exercising again, but that’s an effect, not a cause.
Many of the things people think a depressed person should do are really good advice in general (eat balanced meals, get your vitamins, exercise, etc) but you know that even non-depressed people don’t do those things all the time. And when someone advises a depressed person to do those things, it sometimes comes across not as good advice for everyone, but as ”It’s your fault you’re depressed right now because you don’t exercise, eat right every meal, take vitamins, wash your hair in SLS-free shampoo1, wear only natural fibers, watch your blood pressure, get a mammogram at 40, and drink this special tea that my friend’s hairdresser swears by.” Nobody could do everything their friends think is healthy, even if they felt great and had nothing to do but take care of themselves every day.
So, yes, good advice for everyone, but specifically for depressed people, not so much.
----
And we won't go into the responses to the post, except that I think I proved my point by who disagreed with me and why and how they did so. Heh. Also, if you're my friend and worry that you may have overstepped the line, I would have told you about it, you haven't. Friends can share where strangers should really shush up.
1SLS= Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, alleged to cause cancer or other health issues, and debunked here on Snopes.
