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If I went to bed at 2pm, and set my alarm for 10pm, why then did I not wake up until 11:55pm?
Needless to say, I was supposed to be at work at 12. I was 12 minutes late. I am still sneezing, I haven't had a shower, and I'm sleepy as hell. In honor of that, I give you:
Responses NOT to give callers who ask "How are you today?"
1. "Dazed and confused."
2. "Pretty good considering I forgot my underwear."
3. "Shitty, but improving."
4. air guitar opening notes of "Bad to the bone" "On the day I was born..."
5. "I was fine, but the guy next to me just farted."
6. "Oh my gosh. I didn't know there was going to be a test."
7. "Look, I have an alibi for last night."
8. "That is confidential material."
9. "Well, I'm wearing a little slinky negligee, and...wait, that wasn't the question, was it?"
10. "As long as they love each other, I see no reason why a frog and a pig shouldn't have a relationship."
Needless to say, I was supposed to be at work at 12. I was 12 minutes late. I am still sneezing, I haven't had a shower, and I'm sleepy as hell. In honor of that, I give you:
Responses NOT to give callers who ask "How are you today?"
1. "Dazed and confused."
2. "Pretty good considering I forgot my underwear."
3. "Shitty, but improving."
4. air guitar opening notes of "Bad to the bone" "On the day I was born..."
5. "I was fine, but the guy next to me just farted."
6. "Oh my gosh. I didn't know there was going to be a test."
7. "Look, I have an alibi for last night."
8. "That is confidential material."
9. "Well, I'm wearing a little slinky negligee, and...wait, that wasn't the question, was it?"
10. "As long as they love each other, I see no reason why a frog and a pig shouldn't have a relationship."
